Indecision & Repetition

The judge refused to give my sister Penny (now a long-haul truck driver) custody of her grandchildren at court on Friday.  I think this is mostly because Mom (the great-grandmother) was given custody of them 6 weeks ago and in her ultimate wisdom she returned them to my niece, currently a crackhead.  So they are now in foster care, a place that might actually be better than with my mother.  But of course it is impossible to really know.

I called DCFS in Illinois and left a message.  I never received a call or any response of any kind.  It’s probably just as well.  I was kind of afraid that if I got custody their father might send someone to either kill me or burn my house down.  And to be fair, I wouldn’t want anyone taking my kids away from me either.

Mom was going to pay my nephew’s 18-year old girlfriend (who was married at 14, has custody of only one of her two children, whose parents are in prison for murder) to babysit them.  This despite the fact that the girl was smoking crack along with my niece while my nephew was in jail.

Are my expectations too high?  Am I being unreasonable?

I love my niece.  I always thought she was kind of like me.  Then she did all this stuff and it really pissed me off.  But when I think about what I was doing at 20 I need to admit to myself that she would have been better off if she was less like me.

She just happened to get caught doing something stupid.  I did so many stupid things.  I’m just really lucky I got out alive.  I hope she does, too.