Reality TV Brings Joy

Several interesting things have happened recently:

Top Chef - Can you believe they let the guy stay who said, “You’ll have to take me out with a security guard, this is my house”?  WTF?  I would not have guessed Tom Colecchio for such a pussy.

Big Brother – I was so ecstatic with Chelsia’s antics before leaving the house.  Bashing Natalie’s eggs was good, but her comments after eviction were way better.  Telling Sheilah she’s been “Rode hard and will definitely be put away wet” was better than an average orgasm.  Way to go, Chelsia!

Natalie is an enigma.  She’s occasionally entertaining because she is so incredibly strange, but I am so tired of seeing those enormous over-swollen fake breasts.  Does she own a shirt that could cover them in an emergency, let’s say she had a hideous scab-ridden rash?

Baller is the weirdest dude, ever.  His bulging eyes freak me out.

I cannot stand to look at James, he’s hideous.  That horrible hair is beyond description.  I love pink, but this is not pink.  And what’s with the tight purple pants?  GACK!  They’re way too male prostitute.

He’s got the worst tattoos I’ve ever seen on a human being.  Who in the hell tats a bow around their neck?  It’s all just so unattractive.  And I don’t believe he’s the great guy he pretends to be, or he would have given Chelsia the veto.

Of course my husband’s favorite is Natalie.  He is a breast man and he adores stupid people.

Rock of Love – How can Bret consider any of these chicks when Heather is so hot and obviously the best choice?  Watching Daisy’s face melt this week was like an acid trip.  If it were me, I would have had to vote her out simply because she had sex with the ex-boyfriend who wears eyeliner.  Looked like a disease waiting to happen.

Celebrity Apprentice – It’s just a great show.  I know lots of people hate him, but I love Trump.  And when Trace Adkins is forced to deal with the Backstreet Boys, does it get any better?  I think this has been the best season ever.

Survivor - It offends my sensibilities when the great players are voted off and the weaker members left behind.  And believe me, I’d be voted out first if it were based on my own standards.  I don’t think I will ever enjoy anything on that show as much as when Chet was being pulled around like a rag doll by the he-man who was voted off later in the episode.

Real Housewives of New York City – If you haven’t checked this new show out yet, it’s worth the effort.  It’s like something from another planet.

My Big Redneck Wedding – OMG.  Run, don’t walk, to CMT (Country Music Television).

And to top it off, April 10th, the return of The Office.

Life is good.