Tears For My Brother
August 27, 2008
Like I mentioned in a relatively recent post, I cry over most anything.
I tear up reading the paper regularly. I watch movies, tv and commercials with big globby wet drops running down my face. There is not necessarily a rhyme or a reason attributed to what sets me off.
However, I don’t cry when I’m supposed to.
I didn’t cry at my father’s funeral when I was 10 and I really don’t want to fucking cry right now.
I found out last night that my brother died of a massive heart attack at a Michigan truck stop and was found in the parking lot. It appeared that he was trying to climb out and go for help, but there just wasn’t enough time.
So I am headed home for my baby brother’s funeral. He was 44 years old.
Jim, I hope you are free of all pain and unhappiness. I love you.
August 27, 2008 at 7:07 pm
Oh FUCK. I’m so sorry. Whenever you do cry, try to feel my arms hugging you.
August 27, 2008 at 7:45 pm
Oh, I am so, so sorry. That is just horrible. I never cry when I’m supposed to either, don’t know why, but I’m crying for you right now.
August 27, 2008 at 8:39 pm
I have nothing productive to say here other than I hope that he is free from pain and sorry too.
August 27, 2008 at 8:42 pm
So very sorry for your and your family’s loss.
August 27, 2008 at 9:04 pm
Oh sweetie, I’m so very sorry for your loss. I’m here, holding your hand whether you’re crying or not.
I’m so fucking sorry.
August 27, 2008 at 9:17 pm
Oh that is really such a terrible, horrible thing! And to a baby brother. I hope you and your family and friends can help each other through the grief. I am keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers. Tears don’t always come when you expect them. But if they come, then welcome them, because they do let out a whole range of pent up feelings that can’t be expressed otherwise.
August 27, 2008 at 10:48 pm
I am so very sorry for your loss. It’s okay not to cry. It will happen when you’re ready for it. Lean on your family and friends and they’ll help you through.
August 28, 2008 at 12:24 am
this made me cry.
i am so sorry pam . so so sorry.
be safe on your travels . . you’ll be in my thoughts.
August 28, 2008 at 7:54 am
OMG. I’m so very sorry to hear of this. My eyes have welled up on your behalf. Only 44, geez. I’ve got to get me and Bunny out of this job/lifestyle. I fear it’s killing us. This really breaks my heart. You poor dear. You take care, ya here. (((hugs)))
August 28, 2008 at 10:52 am
Pam,
I am so very sorry – my heart and prayers and love are with you.
August 28, 2008 at 11:35 am
Embrace your tears. I’m sending you a virtual hug.
August 28, 2008 at 2:23 pm
I’ve been concerned for you period……it isn’t like you to stay quiet for so long. Now this sad news comes…..it seems to me it is your baby brother is the sibling you have the fondest, most loving feelings for…I think Pammy Girl is right. You need to let yourself ‘feel’ your feelings, love him, mourn him, miss him, and know he is okay now. But also you need to know that a lot of people out here, are thinking of you, wrapping their arms around you, and crying with you. Because they care about you, just as you have loved your brother for who he was and despite who he was……you are cared about.
August 28, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Much love and many hugs to you. I’m so fucking sorry you’re going through this. Here’s to no pain or unhappiness for your little brother.
August 28, 2008 at 2:47 pm
I’m so sorry. I’m sure he is free from pain and unhappiness. I hope you have a safe trip, and my thoughts are with you.
August 28, 2008 at 5:49 pm
I’m sorry too, Pam. =(
August 28, 2008 at 9:56 pm
I am so very, very, sorry. . . .
August 29, 2008 at 10:47 am
I’m so so sorry to hear this! You and your family are in my thoughts.
August 30, 2008 at 1:11 am
So sorry. What a crappy time. You’re in my thoughts.
August 30, 2008 at 11:22 am
I’m so sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
August 30, 2008 at 9:58 pm
Just checking in to let you know you are in my thoughts and prayers.
August 31, 2008 at 11:53 pm
Oh Pam, I am so very, very sorry. It seems that your brother was your shining star on the family tree. Please know how many people are thinking of you and sending well wishes your way.
On the bright side, you likely have gathered enough fodder from spending time with your relatives to fuel your blog for another year or two….?
Hang in there.
September 3, 2008 at 9:19 pm
I miss you and I think about you 650 times a day and I hope that eventually you’ll stop thinking about your brother 650,000 times a day and I’m still so sorry about this. And you know my first comment was literally the first thing out of my mouth out loud and I’m sorry it was so crude. But I still think it says it.
Hugs.
September 6, 2008 at 4:56 am
Don’t know how I missed this; I am really sorry that you and your family are going through this pain. ((((((hugs))))))) Why does this happen? GAH! I wish there was something I could do or say to make you feel better but just know that I’m thinking of you and sending up good thoughts! Again, so sorry for your loss.
September 29, 2008 at 3:01 am
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