All About Pamajama
February 22, 2007
I am Pam. I’m 47 but sometimes act 10 or 16 or 25. I grew up in Illinois and as soon as possible moved away. Of course, wherever you go, you take yourself along. And that has been a problem.
I spent time in Oregon, San Francisco (because it’s its’ own state, the best ever) and North Carolina.
For 20 years now I’ve lived in New Jersey, 14 hours from my mother, the minimum distance allowed.
We moved here so my son would grpw up with extended family nearby. His father died when he was just a year and two days old. Both my son’s father and my father were 33 when they died, just like Chris Farley & Jesus Christ. A hidden message, perhaps?
I’m a prior probation officer, mall Easter bunny, legal secretary, word processor, waitress, and once sold frozen meat from the back of a pick-up truck (I just drove around in circles). For 10 years I’ve been a stay at home mom. Clearly, I wasn’t so good at long-term employment. I hope I’m a better mother, but sometimes I wonder about that, too.
My favorite job was in San Francisco, working for an appellate death penalty attorney, sitting in as an assistant at hearings and visiting San Quentin. Where could there possibly be a better place to pick up admirers? My favorite prisoner lost his mind, began licking the toilet bowl and eventually committed suicide.
I was a criminal justice major because it was the easiest. And since I had dated criminals since the age of 14 it felt like a good match. Now that I’m married to a cop I am forced to behave, and that’s a good thing. He had three ferrets before he met me and I kind of think I intrigued him in the same way — sort of a weird & interesting pet.
I always wanted to be a hippie but never quite pulled it off, as evidenced by the fact that I’m married to Mo* (Viet Nam vet, my hero). There was a time when I thought I was a peace-loving innocent who would never kill another human. That was before having children.
I’m a sugar addict, sometimes schizo, dysfunctional family of origin member. I love laughter, am rarely serious, and sometimes have a big mouth.
Unfortunately, the times when I speak up are rarely the times when I should. I have a tremendous dislike of conflict, a result of what I think is PTSD obtained while living with my screaming mimi of a mother.
I’ve been known to trampoline in the nude. I am a people pleaser, a past member of every possible political party other than communist. I am a writer, a reader, & a TV addict. Reality TV is my thing and it fits in with my desire to peek into other people’s lives and find out how they compare to my own.
I’m a terrible cook but love to eat. I love astrology (Gemini with a Pisces Rising and Cancer Moon). I adore my son Bo*, a recent college graduate (22) and my daughter Joy* (10). It does not jive that I am an occasionally angry lunatic.
I am a step-mother to two adult sons, JJ* (33) & Jay* (30), a baby fanatic and nearly 5-year veteran breastfeeder. I am obsessed with knowing what other people are thinking & how they tick. From an early age it was my desire to be a mind-reader.
I keep secrets in my real life because I am afraid of exposing the craziness. It keeps me distant and makes me sad. One day, when I grow up, I will be totally honest and say “Fuck It!”
This is my beginning . . .
* Some names have been changed to protect the innocent.
October 18, 2007 at 10:02 am
Thanks for visiting my blog. We all have strange stories to tell - such is life.
Cheers,
Sakamato
October 21, 2007 at 2:14 am
Like your blog too (minus the F bomb). But I’m not censoring you… and watch all the cable you want.
December 29, 2007 at 2:07 pm
Pam,
I just spent about an hour reading your blog. Clearly you deserve Gold in any Dysfunctional Family Olympics. And I wondered about the glass addition to your mom’s house - that is a big ticket item to most folks - then I found the entry about your niece. Maybe they are the real life inspiration for Weeds?
You are a wonderful writer, honest and thoughtful; your kids and your husband are blessed to have you.
Judy
December 29, 2007 at 10:24 pm
Dear Judy,
I am dying to know what the “Fivehusbands” name means and yet I cannot follow it anywhere . . . your comments were both funny & fantastic, the best combination.
January 19, 2008 at 6:09 am
I still stuck on trampoline.
January 19, 2008 at 6:02 pm
Dear Rock,
You should try it, a very freeing experience
A bit breezy.
Come to think of it, our next door neighbor has his house for sale. A coincidence?
pj
January 21, 2008 at 1:17 am
Ah, my mother was raised in Illinois and her sentiment was the same…
get out and stay out.
That poor woman;( First Illinois, then her first husband, and eventually..me;( I feel so bad for her…
But I loved your blog
( A very unconventional) Lily
January 21, 2008 at 9:24 pm
I keep secrets in my real too for fear of exposing craziness. One secret I will reveal to you in response to your question on my blog is:
6′ 5″
January 21, 2008 at 11:10 pm
6′5″ is hot!
March 27, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Ahhaahahaaa…I almost peed my pants reading this! I’m here by way of Red’s blog (who is one of my favorite reads, I might add). Can I act 10, 16 or 25 with you? At the moment I’m acting 10, listening to my daughter’s Miley Cyrus cd, dancing in the living room, while drinking a glass of wine - oops, I guess that last bit isn’t something a 10 yr. old would do. Oh well…love your blog. I’ll be back to read more!
Thank you for the comment! It sounds like you make great use of your time, drinking, dancing, blogging. Only females are able to multi-task like this. Especially for a Thursday afternoon
I checked out your blog and my mouth is still hanging open regarding your mother throwing the hamster into the woods!
March 27, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Whoa . .what? 6′5?
Hell—ooooo!
Hot, right? And then he went and deleted his blog . . .
March 27, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Found my way here via Red’s blog. What a a fascinating autobiography you’ve written here, and what a resume! I can’t wait to read more.
June 7, 2008 at 1:11 pm
OH, I see so many of my friends here–Red, 2lazydogs, moonbeammcqueen, Talkin Trash with Trisha, and of course the beautiful Birdpress.
I’m a Gemini too. I was sort of a hippie back in the day but mostly because I liked the music and the clothes. I really didn’t do much hippie stuff. I lived with my parents until I got married.
I like the way you think. My kids think I’m crazy as a loon but they love me for it, thank goodness. That enables me to do all the crazy ass stuff I want.Go Crazy!!!
I completely love hippie clothes! Isn’t it interesting how in this huge blogging universe you tend to find the same people popping up over and over again in your piece of the world?
June 8, 2008 at 2:01 am
This is the best “about me” page I’ve ever read. “There was a time when I thought I was a peace-loving innocent who would never kill another human. That was before having children.” You are “one of those” bloggers that is fucking hilarious! I don’t have that quick wit but am blown away by yours. I have to roll you- you are a most excellent writer and anyone that keeps me laughing is ok in my book!
You are so kind! Thank you
June 11, 2008 at 11:20 am
I stumbled onto your site and I have to say I am laughing my ass off looking around here.
Thanks very much! Love your comment